South Africa

Exactly 3 months later, I say hello from the jungles of South Africa.

8 days left

At this point, I feel nothing. Crazy isn't it?

blah

I’m a bad blogger but my laptop is gone for repairs – AGAIN! Except this time it’s taking 10 years longer than last time (a month longer to be precise). Lately, I feel so out of place. Everything is so hectic but alhumdulillah I am more towards the calm side now rather than a month ago.
Ah I just want this over with. 25 more days!

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep in

I thought I would get tired of sleeping in everyday and doing nothing at home........but I was wrong. I love sleeping at 3 AM and waking up at 12-1 PM and doing nothing productive with my day. I wake up, spend an hour in the bathroom staring at myself in the mirrior while I pick at face.

Ah, obviously this won't last forever... few more days then I'll have to get into some sort of a routine and do something with my life.

Goodnight

You know that feeling of relief you get when you have this huge heavy rock tied up to your back and you have no choice but to walk around with it on, till one day you just return that rock back to its owner.


Well I’ve never felt anything like it, (literally). Nonetheless I do feel very relieved and happy to accomplish my goal. I don’t mean to brag, but money has always just slithered in when I’ve needed it most (thank God for that x100) I don’t give money such a high importance in my life, or maybe I don’t know the value of money at this age. Either way, money is money – today it’s here tomorrow it’s gone. Don’t let it control your life

Anyways I’m off to sleep. I don’t know the point of this post

The truth is, I am bored. I am very, very, very bored. In fact, I am so bored, I am running out of ways to format my typing to convey exactly how bored I am.

School is over and I is glad!

I had my bridal shower right after exams. It was a lot of work, which is why my friends and I have decided to never have one again!! Everything looked so good and adorable thought

This semester had to be one of the worst ones yet but I feel like I did well, but I'm still waiting for my marks. Now that it's May and less then 80 days away from the big day. I am getting wee-bit nervous because I'm afraid of things not getting done in time. But so far so good, especially now that I have things in my hand. My clothes came and each one is prettier than ever. I usually am not a big fan of the clothes people send for me from Pakistan, but this time everything is according to the way I asked. I love my cousin for going through hell for my clothes just for me!!
Invites are also here and they are UGLY but that’s my fault for allowing my dear old man to choose them. I am trying to stay positive and not be such a bridezilla so we shall pretend like they don't bother me. Next move is making the favors and putting the cards together because I don't want to leave that for last minute. Especially because now is the time that we should be handing them out.
I really going to try and stay positive about everything so I don’t stress myself out or allow others to get to me. I’m ready for this wedding to happen and be over because quite frankly it’s draining me out. I'm tired of wedding planning and really just want to spend some time with family and friends and do nothing.

Best wishes for the Summer!

Suffering from brain damage

DONE!

Excuse me while I go burn my books.

Some shots by Canon D20

I get worked up

I never knew what it meant to be brown, or be Pakistani until recently. Before I was just Pakistani, who knew Urdu and ate awesome food. Now I know a lot more about my religion and culture and what it defines. The fashion, politics, poetry, society was a whole new view of being South Asian and I liked it. I like a lot of what I’ve been exposed to, but there is so much I am against and there is nothing I can do about it. I argue the same points over and over but it doesn’t change anything. Everyone has a right to their own opinions and views, as do I. I feel like the whole world has moved on and started to look at woman as individuals except my culture (for what I’ve observed) so not to sound generalizing. Girls hit 20 and begin to worry about marriage (more like obsess over it) mainly because they feel a great amount of pressure from others. Woman who get divorced aren’t given an equal chance at life again, because somehow they are not as respectable as they were before their divorce. Woman becomes a widow and hesitates to re-marry because people will look down-upon. Second marriages for woman is just not as acceptable as a man. Woman can’t be paid as high as a man can. Why I ask, why? Who made these rules, and who says this is how it should be? Not religion, that’s for sure! Before I say anything else, I’m aware that many of us don’t think this way anymore but I base this on my own observations in general, as overview. Woman aren’t the same as they used to be 50-100 years ago, things have changed. Women are educated, working, buying property, driving their own cars, paying their own bills. The power that men think they have is usually given to them by a woman. Women boost their egos to fool them into thinking that “you're the man”. Do you really think a woman is a weak little thing? She can give birth to you; she can take you off this planet too. Im not a man-hater. But I do despise this useless debate about women being less than men or being potentially dirty because they have a past. Yes a woman is NOT equal to a man, but that doesn't mean he is superior to her. No one I know is dying or depressed over being single. If anything, they enjoy themselves and the freedom it has to offer. If it happens, it happens. If it doesnt, life goes on and women now have their careers as their back up plans. These women still go on vacations, smile, live and do the things that make them happy. As much as men want a strong woman...they cant seem to let go of the dependence of a frail woman had. In that case, it’s simple: you cannot have your cake and eat it too. You give some and you take some. The perfect woman does not exist and as much as women compromise...men must also. RANT OVER!

Pakistan

I am SO disappointed at our loss in the semi-finals match against India. Though, I feel so much love for my country at the same time too.

Moving on….. I want Sri Lanka to crush India

quote

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

ell oh ell

Sometimes, I love initiating awkward situations/conversations. They make me feel humorous for some bizzare reason.

so the frustration starts

This wedding planning is getting hard and I’m starting to get annoyed with myself. I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m so tired of looking at dresses and things related to weddings because I’ve become so picky about everything. Nothing seems good enough.
It’s a shame because I was looking forward to getting married so I could be married. Now all I think about is the wedding and it’s set up. Other than a frustration, I’m really enjoying it too because it is fun to do things your way. I would love to organize a wedding because I think I’ve become very good at it. I can work within any budget and come up with a great wedding plan! I have things I want to do on the actual wedding day in my wedding hall before the wedding starts just so I have the satisfaction of things being done right. Basically everything I do has to be visually appealing to me.

Maybe I should become a wedding planning and just do this for the rest of my life. I know my husband would go insane.

stupid reading week

March break sounds lovely right about now.
:(

mowmaynt

I have a health class this semester. I’m not one of those people who worries about her intake or physical activity but I love the idea of a healthy lifestyle. I almost made a resolution to become more healthier, and that went nowhere. I would love to eat right and have physical activity in my life, except it’s too busy. I don’t have time to go for a jog or walk for 30 minutes, or make myself something healthy to eat. I live off cafeteria food and run from one class to another. When I do have time, I want to reeeeeeeeeeeeeeelaxxxxx. Slouch my life away
It’s too bad that I have such unhealthy habits, but I try my best and I plan to change that eventually. In class we were discussing physical activity in children and there was some statistic that said that we may outlive our children because of how unhealthy the upcoming generation is. We talked about it and it was obvious why. Remember when we were kids, we played outside all day and our parents didn’t mind it. I know I spent my childhood playing in parks and riding my bike. Now we barely see that because children are indoors playing with their ipods and DC or watching television while eating chips. Other then that, parents have become overly protective. They feel the need to keep an eye on their children at all times because they’re scared of god-knows-what. If not that, lives have become busier for parents, so they don’t have time to take their children to play or allow them to go alone. Also, when we were kids, we knew our neighbors and people around the community and now we barely know the names of people who live next door (blaming the busy life style again). Other then physical activity, we barely have a healthy diet. We eat so much processed foods and buying meals is so much easier then cooking it. We eat more then we should, which leads our stomach to want more food, and that it what it gets. The size of cups for soda’s are so much larger then they used to be 10 years back and same goes for the servings served. The burgers are bigger, the pizza slices are huge and we’re very happy for this enhancement.

Point is, parents depend on school/teachers for their children to release energy and teachers aren’t aware of the importance of it. Children attending swimming classes or hockey once a week isn’t enough, they need to run around and play every day. It’s too bad that things are this way because these issues lead to bigger problems as we get older, especially as woman.

Tiffany & Co.

I’m going insane because of midterms, but here is something to smile for. What if I gave out Tiffany & Co. stuff as my party favors. People would faint and I'd be in debt.

3rd time is a charm.

I stress over this topic again and again. But here it is one more time.
Why do people change Islam according to their own needs? They twist and turn religion to fit their own personal views, because it’s easier that way. I completely understand people doing things that are not a part of Islam, like listening to music and that it between you and your Lord. The minute you start to say “listening to music isn’t wrong in Islam” that is when you’ve changed the religion to suit your life style, simply so you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

Same situations go by institutions, people have gatherings based on “Muslim” “Islam” and then it’s a non-segregated party, music, dancing and at the end of the day you’re making a statement about your religion to others who may not know what Islam is about.

Christianity or Jewish’s may have people who are homosexual, but anyone who is aware of their religion will let you know that it is against their religion.

People now argue that homosexuality, music is some how allowed in Islam. People constantly argue upon Nikab/Hijab, polygamy, the degree of segregation between gender only so their religion doesn’t look outdated to others. So they appear to have a modern life style.

I'm aware that there are a lot more issues in Islam that aren't clear cut and hence subject to interpretation. For those, there are knowledgeable scholars who have and continue to debate on those topics, but a lot of which people try to change is a clear-up ruling (5 times prayer, alcohol etc).

It also goes the other way, people extreme the religion as they see it fit. You’ll hear people making statements like “make-up is haraam” “wear pants is haraam” “you have to eat with your hands”. There is a concept of Sunnah, Wajib and Fard. To turn everything into a fard and say that is it Islam is also ruining the name and reputation of Islam. People constantly lable things to be haraam, by linking it to other fatwa’s

Today people say Nikab is not a part of islam.

5 years later – Nikkah is not necessary between a man and woman; it’s the intention that counts.

10 years later – Drugs are allowed, as long as you still pray 5 times.

I too am guilty of this.

Welcome Marsha

Here goes nothing and everything. March is hereeeeee

Abaya's

I like my abaya's to be simple with a nice flow. I wouldn't mind having abaya's with some sort of pattern or colour except majority of ones I've seen have a very Indian look to them (not that it’s a negative thing) or they are the Arab glossy material ones, which is not the look I want, so I prefer it to be simple with very little detail. That said, I still wish we had nicer trendy abaya’s for everyday wear, while maintaining modesty. As much as we would love to wear long maxi dresses, they can't always be pulled off as an abaya.

Then I came across these, and I totally fell in love with them! I can’t credit these because I’m not sure who or where these are from.

One year

I noticed last night that I've been on this thing for a year..
shall we cele-brat-ing?

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4 3 2 1

1 2 3 4

-A

Thursday

I have insane amount of work piled up thats due in 3 days. I don't know what's wrong with me, I sit down to do my homework and it goes no where.
Here is my prediction: Sunday, I'll get to it

Till then, I will complain.

Lauren Conrad "Paper Crown" collection

My friend showed me this yesterday and I loved it! Everything is so soft and classy. Theres no harsh prints or colours at all :D

Sometimes you have to get to know someone really well to realize you’re really strangers.

I have something to say

I waste so much of my time, energy, money on redundant possessions. I have nothing against enjoying things in life but the more I look at myself, the more I see of how useless my days have become (especially with my excuse to be “wedding planning”). I waste my little spare time reading about this useless thing which encourages me to buy that useless thing so I can look like some useless person. I’ve become someone who is constantly looking into fashion blogs, make-up tutorials, photography, recipe and DIY sort of things that I probably won’t ever come around to do.
I’m not downing myself for my interest, but I’m sad because of how much I focus on my interests rather than my education and prayers and blessings. I can’t say this is a fact but I sense that too much of high-end eye candy sort of things make us high maintenance because slowly other things start to look unworthy and cheap. Life never seems to be complete, and the shopping list is never over.

I wish I wrote more, it helps sort out thoughts!

you dont need a broken heart to know hearts can be broken;

top 5 reasons why marriage is awesome

I saw this on someone's blog and loved it. I believe her name is The Zen Bride (I could be wrong, but I forget)

#5: best friend + partner in crime + mentor + companion + boyfriend + shoulder to cry on + confidante + grocery shopper + chauffeur + heavy lifter + jar opener + life partner + baby maker + tax break + bed-sharer + cheerleader + travelling companion + personal chef + court jester + pillow + handyman + nurse + a sympathetic ear + honest opinion = husband

#4: There is nothing more romantic than the man you love standing up in front of God and everybody to say, I love you, and today I commit myself, my heart, my body and my life to you for the rest of our days.

#3: Marriage is the start of building a life, a home and a family together. Everything becomes more affordable when there's two people working toward the same thing.

#2: It is the closest thing a girl can get to a gaurantee that she will always have someone by her side in this crazy, upside down world of ours.

#1: We are just better together than we are apart.

another nightmare

I’ve been thinking a lot about wedding day make-up (more like stressing over it insanely). I’ve seen brides who like exactly like herself - basically the makeup she wears everyday, nothing special. Then I’ve seen brides who look completely transformed. While that can be a good thing, sometimes it’s been too much of a transformation and she’s barely recognizable. I’m worried about both of those scenarios.
I want to look like me, but with something that’s a little extra special. I’ve been looking, really really hard. The issue is that most artists unfamiliar with Indian bridal makeup go too neutral for my liking, while those familiar with the glitzy drama of it go too matchy matchy with my outfit.

A month later

Laptop is back, therefore I is back :)

two zero one one

Never in my life have I made resolutions on New Year’s. But this year is a new year, a extraordinary year. Why you ask? Because I have my wedding this summer, I move away from home this year and live with my husband; I am 20 turning 21 this year!

So here goes.

1) The most cliché resolution that everyone has – to have a healthier lifestyle. Hopefully eat healthier, drink more water, cut down on soda, use more natural stuff on my skin, gain a few pounds to look more healthier, take better care of my hair etc etc.
2) Get rid of things that I don’t use or wear! I look through my closet and so many of my clothes/shoes/things are unworn or barely worn, and I think to myself that I’ll wear it later on. No more of that! I also want to get rid of things that have grown out of my style, I have things from when I was a teenager and that needs to go. I’ll be moving to South Africa inshallah, and hopefully I can give away things that I no longer need and pack away the rest. I’ll either donate it, or give it away to friends/family.
3) Stop buying beauty products! Hopefully I can just buy some basic make-up things before the wedding and not throughout.
4) Start to pray more than just the compulsory. Pay more attention to the spiritual stuff and be cautious of the things I do/say.
5) Stop buying/wearing so much black.