Journey of eternity

When someone dies, another someone is sent to this world and that is how the world goes round. The circle of life, the way life works; it’s all give and take. My Grandma passed away two days ago, and it hurts because we were close. It wasn’t just that she was close to me, she was close to everyone. She shared a special bond with all her grand-children, son/daughter in laws and her own children; she made everyone feel special and important and protected trust and secrets. She was pleasurable to talk to, and to share with and she made every difficulty seemed as if it were nothing. As a bonus, she was a very stylish for 57 year old lady. She was a strong woman with a beautiful heart, her Mum died when she was about 7 and she first born child is schizophrenic and her last born son in mentally disable, but she lived through it all without complains, so I hope and pray that she’s been granted a place in the highest place in Heaven and that she is resting in peace inshallah.

Sadly, life without her won’t be the same, especially for my Nana and my uncle to whom she still fed with her hands. Life goes on, at any pace so kindly pray for her soul and patients for her family. She will be greatly missed

Get it all, value none.

I say congratulations to the parents whose children are not spoiled. Why are children so spoiled now? I’m not even exaggerating, when we were younger, we were shitless scared to do or say dumb things. Now little kids are such brats and their parents are so proud of their “princess/king” behavior. The way I see it, the more you do for them, the less they will appreciate it from you, as well as things in general. For example, you have two little ones (old enough to understand) and you buy them both a can of coke, knowing that they are unable to finish it. They will drink half and throw the rest away, knowing they can get it out of their parent to buy it for them. To avoid fights between the children, they don’t learn share. Things aren’t appreciated from children, they waste without thinking twice. In the real world your child will not be the center of attention among others. So he or she shouldn't be treated this way because it is important for him or her to learn that there are others in this world
It is important to give praise to a child when the praise is worthy and has truly been earned. Children realize when they are praised for something they shouldn't be. False praise for an only child further cements the impression that the world revolves around them.
Other then that, why are little girls wearing make up and dressing up like 25 year old ladies? Being 13 or 15 doesn’t mean you’re ready to be an adult and start dressing and behaving like them. I wasn’t allowed to wear anything other then vaseline and lip smackers.

Only if I the president.

Wanted: live-in maid

So I had additional time to do other things during school and now I’m home with no commitments and I don’t have any time for myself. I don’t even have time to think about things, random things. Then when I do have time, I’m too exhausted. It’s as if there is not enough time to get it all done.
Anyways, I probably don’t have the right to complain considering I don’t do half the work that ladies do with children. So conclusion to this post: Hats off to you house-wives/momma’s, I don’t know how you do it.

what times

the paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.we have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.we drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldcom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldcom.we have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. we talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. we've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.we've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor. we've conquered outer space, but not inner space; we've done larger things, but not better things.we've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul; we've split the atom, but not our prejudice.we write more, but learn less; we plan more, but accomplish less. we've learned to rush, but not to wait; we have higher incomes, but lower morals; we have more food, but less appeasement; we build more computers to hold more information to proudce more copies than ever, but have less communication; we've beome long on quanity, but short on quality.these are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships. these are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.these are days of two incomes, but more divorces; fancier houses, but broken homes. these are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everythin from cheer to quiet to kill.

I wish I could too....

Photography by: Solair Mazakian from Cambridge,On

This one is special to me. I've spent good times here

sadly, I would love to sleep my day away!

My issue is that I can’t sleep at other people’s houses. One would presume it’s because im used to my own bed or surrounding, but that’s not it. I suppose it has to do something with my level of comfort zone because I go over to my sister’s house all the time but I always avoid sleeping over, same with some other family members and such. It isn’t because I’m not comfortable in their house or my bedding isn’t the natural but it’s because Im not used to sleeping at that house with those people. I used to reside in a boarding school and clearly over time, I got used to sleeping their, with other people in the room. Now once in awhile, I go over to my ex-roommates houses and if I sleep-over, I sleep quite comfortably because I assume I’m used to that person.

Other then that, I have a whole list of issues while sleeping
1) If a clock is ticking, I cant sleep
2) If its dead silent, I cant sleep
3) Im fond of the noise of a fan, and if I continuously have the fan on for a few days and then stop, I cant sleep
4) If something smells unusual I cant sleep
5) If the light is turned on, I cant sleep
6) If the closet door or the room door is open, I cant sleep
7) Apparently I sleep talk, so I get conscious sometimes
8) I sleep-walk and it can actually be quite dangerous, because I once almost walked out
somewhere, so if I think about that too much then I cant sleep well

But on the whole, I love to sleep, I could perhaps sleep all day. Lately I have been staying up late and waking up even later, which is actually a bad habit to have but vacation is vacation. Something I really cannot do is nap during the day, either I go to bed before time or sleep in late but napping during the day means laying in bed and thinking about stuff. It’s still pleasant but it’s not sleep.

I can’t believe I just wrote close to a page about my sleep.

too good to be true

I wonder how it feels to be a righteous person, good from the heart and pure from the mind. One like myself can only attempt or hope to be a good person but to actually be one is a whole other story. How do they manage them selves, is it something your born with or is it something you grow into after trying or is it the way your raised? Its good to be humble and kind, but how do you manage when/if people start walking all over you. Does that affect their emotion health being? Responsibility is a good characteristic too but how responsible is too responsible? Or being positive, does that mean you take all risks and brush mistakes under the rug.

But honestly, that’s not even the “good person” I was talking about. (Anyone who knows me, knows I can’t stay on topic.) Many people have set up reasons to prove that they are good. Many people keep on struggling between 'goodness' and “badness” in their own assessment. If one finds a particular good quality in some one they'll label them as good or a single flaw they'll label them as bad. Same goes for one's own self worth, a slight sense from the conscious makes one feel that he's not a good person, and a little sense of achievement makes you good. It’s not very smart to look upto people with a certain talent and label them as good. So many people have found standards in actors, athletes, politicians and other celebrities. Being a good athlete or a cool musician like snoop dog doesn't make you a good person.

"I swear by the time, Most surely man is in loss, except those who believe and do good, and enjoin on each other truth, and enjoin on each other patience." (Al Asr 103)

"Life and death, energy and peace. If I stop today it was still worth it. Even the terrible mistakes that I made and would have unmade if I could. The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul. It was worth it. For having been allowed to walk where I've walked, which was to hell on earth, heaven on earth, back again, into, under, far in between, through it, in it and above.You know what i think? i think theres a reason for everything. And i think that there's a plan for everyone. And i think that God has a big plan for me. Just not in this Life."- Gia Maria Carangi.

how cold? ice cold

It’s May, which is two steps away from summer. Here I am, shivering into a prune in my room. What is this, I refuse to turn the heat on or take out my winter coat.
A summer vacation would be nice at the moment, except I’m too busy being a Betty Crocker at home which is quite a failure as well. It’s not that I don’t enjoy cooking because I do, and I find that following a recipe is easy. Main factor is what to cook everyday, I know it sounds easy but it’s not. Say one day I cook chicken, next day pasta, then meat, then vegetables…then? Trust me I run out of ideas and if I find an idea it’s either too hard or I don’t have all the ingredients. Second factor is that my Dad who is great about eating left over’s and cooking for himself, but he doesn’t “enjoy” eating western foods like pasta’s and such. So me being the awesome suck-up daughter that I am, really tries to cook Pakistani food but then I have an older not-good-for-much brother who refuses to eat that kind of stuff, and complains about it. How am I supposed to enjoy cooking with all this demands to cook. I need a maid

The good, the bad and the ugly

Although this isn’t thrilling, it is after all a life changing experience for me.
I always fond of the idea of nikab but I was far from it. Since I wasn’t “observing” my scarf or abaya, I thought it would take me a lengthy time to get there, assuming it all comes in a categorized order of hijab, followed by abaya and possibly nikab. I knew one day I wanted this for myself, and it took some encouragement but I decided I could do it. It started unstable where I would wear it somewhere and take it off other places which defeat the purpose. I’m still not a perfect nikabi as I would like to be or as it is meant to be, but it’s starting to grow on me. Because ever since I started with the right intention and purpose, I feel like it’s helped me. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, all these things are just external, nothing but a piece of fabric because there’s a deep representation to it. It’s trying to maintain modesty from the heart, and not just to show people that nikab is modest.

I can’t say it was easy, because for me it wasn’t. Now it’s easier to be with it then without it.

The good:
When I started nikab and decided I would study with it on. I thought it would prevent me from a lot of opportunities that I could have had without it, but little did I know that Allah is the one who makes the decisions, not people. Since then till now, I can say a lot of good has come my way, in every aspect and I kid you not when I say that I feel lucky. Everytime I’ve wanted something, although it was far fetched I said a prayer and I gave it my best shot and everytime since then I’ve only gotten a positive answer or an understanding in my heart to accept it easily. My relationships with people, my parents, my family and friends have become so much better. My view on life became much healthier. I’ve been good physically, mentally, most of all financially. I notice things I would have never noticed before. Occasionally I see guys looking at girls a certain way and I feel proud to know that no guy looks at me that way. I don’t care if they think I’m a total freak but I do not want them to look at me and think anything inappropriate. It doesn’t matter weather I’m beautiful or ugly but I’m not for anyone to perceive and be judged according to my body or face. The day I realized that I didn’t want men to think of me that way, was the day I knew nikab was a good selection for me because that’s one of the main focus of people. What or how can I attract the opposite sex into predilection of myself and for anyone that denies that is not being truthful to themselves because its human nature. Once a guy came upto me while I was studying and he said “I’m sorry if this sounds rude but it bothers me that I can’t see you, because it’s not fair that you can see us”. It left me thinking about what he said because no matter how much you hear something you have to see it to believe it. Nikab has given me a feeling of power over myself, not just my surface physical being but my inner mind also. People may assume that "by wearing nikab, we(the girls) probably stare at every man that passes hidden from view but that is not true or shouldn’t be true. Staring at the opposite sex from under my nikab should make us feel like a cheater and a hypocrite so we with the help of Allah, our gaze should remain modest as our heart and mind.
Other then that, I go to school in my pajamas all the time and I never really worry about looking like crap on some days.

The bad and the ugly:
I don’t have much negative to say about it other then…
- Eating with nikab on is pretty messy
- Some people say some real rude stuff but it makes me laugh and offends my non-Muslim friends!
- If I don’t wash my nikab then it smells bad because of the food that touches it, so I have to walk around with a stinky cloth over my face.
- Even though I don’t wear clothes (not literally), I still somehow end up spending majority of my money on clothes and they just sit there.
- I don’t get to wear my favorite clothes.
- If I wear glasses with my nikab, I look like a fob and its hard to adjust the glasses
- There is a new law in Ottawa trying to ban nikab, which is making me feel really crappy

THE END

One talented lady

Make up and photography by: Sara Hoffman.

From Cambridge, Ontario

Easyyy there!

The issue isn’t that some people don’t dress-up enough; it’s that they dress up too much. For someone who doesn’t bother with their look much is fine the way they are. For the ones who accessories too much, add thickness to the look and the overall look starts to look shabby, even if the accessories are nice. In my opinion if you have one statement piece in your whole outfit, you look classy and graceful. As if you wear a nice necklace then don’t wear ear rings, same goes with belts and scarves, shoes, hair accessories, handbags, shades and all types of jewelry. Let one or two things be the statement of your look and if the outfit itself is dramatic it isn’t necessary to accessories. It can be tempting when a few things match with the outfit. The same thing applies to make up, keep a focus of either eyes, lips or blush. When all three are combined it draws too much attention to the face in a negative way. Too much can suggest you’re trying too hard. Also, it’s good to groom that is age appropriate, especially for younger girls and older woman. Sometimes we don’t grow out of a certain style or colours that are no longer age appropriate for us.
Obviously I’m not an expert and this is my own opinion. I’m speaking from personal experiences from myself and other people that I see. My mum never let me do anything like wear make up until I was in grade 8/9 and until then she chose my clothes, once I was allowed to wear make up and choose my clothes for myself I think I got excited and wore whatever I could get my hands on!